When the mirror lies


When the mirror lies

Today I was at the gym, as one of the women I regularly workout with, commented to our trainer, about how she feels like she needs to drop a bit of weight. I looked over at her, this lean, proportionate, totally perfectly formed mother of 2 little beings, and I thought ‘if only she could actually see herself.’

The conversation went on to how she’d been looking back at old photos, pre-children photos where she was skinny and young and carefree. She wished she could go back to that time and appreciate how she’d looked, because even then she was unhappy.

How sad it is that for so many of us we spend our whole lives waiting to be the right weight and the right size to be happy with how we look. 10 years from now, she will look back longingly at the body she has today, the perfectly beautiful body that she currently exists in, yet doesn’t appreciate it because she can’t see her true self.

A couple of hours later I found myself at the hairdresser with my son. Two women in their mid-50s to 60s were sitting together while one was having her hair coloured. They were talking about what they would wear to the races and how they’d have to try things on in the morning to see what they didn’t feel fat in.

I sat there and I sighed.

I am fighting a battle that is such a challenge to the vast majority of women. I am promoting self-love and learning as I go, but the more I hear these conversations, the more I want to shout from the rooftops ‘WE ARE PERFECT JUST AS WE ARE! STOP HATING THE WAY YOU LOOK, IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY!!’

And then I pause to reflect.

I used to be one of you.

I used to hate my body, criticizing it and scrutinizing its every flaw until there was nothing left.

Not anymore.

My body is what my body is. No amount of wanting will give me the long, lean legs I’ve always wished for. No amount of dieting will make me look like a supermodel, and even if it did, you can guarantee I’d find more flaws.

Can’t you see, there is no weight that we’ll be happy at? If there was, we wouldn’t regret not loving ourselves at the smaller weight that we still thought we were too big at! We have to change the way we view ourselves and we need to do it now!

I live diet free, but I love my body and I want to take care of it. These days are all about balance and living a human life, and we aren’t perfect so I’ve stopped trying to be!

When I look in the mirror I see a strong, capable woman. I have a soft belly, I have cellulite, I have stretch marks but they’re mine and I’m so grateful to be happy and healthy enough to own them and call them mine! This is my body, this is my life and I’m not going to spend another minute of another day at war with this vehicle that is my incredible body.

As I say to my kids, my body is exactly as it is meant to be, with lumps and bumps and squishy bits. This is my body, and you’ll never hear me criticizing it ever again; I’ve had enough body hatred to last a lifetime.

It’s time to show gratitude towards our bodies, it’s time to put down the weapons- the diets, the scales, anything that keeps us trapped in a culture of shame and dissatisfaction.

We are so more than the shape of our bodies. We are so much more than the number on the scales, and we are so much more than the mirror reveals.

It’s time to look beyond the mirror, because mirrors lie, they don’t show what’s inside.


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Don’t forget to read my blog about my daughter.